UltraCrepidate

I was mentally prepared for it after i discovered that there's no hot water for my morning shower. Usually a day that start out like this can only go downhill from here.

A person decided to suicide and jumped the metro. It's weird seeing security guards with flashlights trying to peak underneath the tram in order to find out where exactly the body is.

People are angry, curious, impatient. None can sympathesize with the person. It is a pitiful thing to do in our day and age.

So because of that. I had to walk home. About an hour walk…. uphill…. in the rain….. in my trench coat. ..physically tired after dancing and work.

At least, today, Danny did an overhaul on Sarah's posture in standard. I've held off saying anything about it, because I don't know how to correct her and she doesn't listen to me. It kind of feels good, to see that realization in her eyes that I've been putting up with her all this time without saying anything.

The best thing about getting cold is when you are getting out of a cold.
Everything is optimistic.

World of warcraft is coming out. Another game with the concept of evercrack. I've been resisting my urges to play mmorpgs that charges you every month, both costly and addictive.

Thinking about why it is addictive… why role playing a character in ancient times is addictive to people. I came across a great difference between these characters that people endulge themselves in.

What is interesting to note about these characters you use is that they have skills that you can learn and practice and you can see a constant steady growth with the skill. They are also skills of movement in which almost no thinking or interpersonal skills are required.

Simple equation that's very beautiful. You learn something, you get better at it. You put in effort, there's the result. Unlike the random reward system we call real life which became more and more frustrating as the rewards are random.

As I progress with my personal project to push my own limits. I became more and more aware of the seperate self. The part of the brain function that does things automatically for us. I started reading about it and the different technique that people developped to manipulate it.

It is unconscious, but it remains passive unless we consciously trigger its start engine button. Our computation power, memory power, multitasking ability, side visions, hearing abilities, color contrast, emotions. etc…

Although unable to control the process once the process are set in motion, we can however, manipulate its inputs and outputs to gain more and more out of our sensory organs. With proper training, we can take in more and more information that we weren't awared of before.

This is like alot of the japanese games, where one wake up clueless of where one is and have to figure out how to get out. Except now, we wake up in a new body, having to figure out how to use this body. There are pre programmed function that we can use which is automatically linked, but a master of one's own body break apart the preprogrammed function to fully understand it and write one's own code.

It is myself, but it is the part of myself that I do not control. I feel like a whole new world has just been opened up.

Roll out date coming soon.
Nothing is working
and the tension is building.
Time to put up application forms in preparation for the worst.

As I analyze the people at work, their attitudes and their limits, I realized that those who has to go through alot of changes in their life tends to be more well rounded and open to other ideas. Their interpersonal relationships are better than those who've spent too long doing something that they already knew.

The ones with a problem with the world. Ones who persuaded themselves that they are disfunctional due to something about themselves tends to be less accepted by ones who've been through great changes and great stress caused by the changes. There seems to be a mental block on their learning, as if they don't know how to take in new ideas. They cannot accept what is strange to them.

I know what I have to be now.
I am what I have to be now.
I made the leap of faith.
I've thrown down my career
and thrown myself in the pure path of dancing.

It consumes me.
It angers me.
It enjoys me.

In the end, I will have no regret.

I accidently slipped about my 2 years of experience as a masseus at work and found myself suddenly surrounded by 5 women who are really interested.

You women are so predictable.

Soon, I will be cinquielingual. Adding ASL and spanish to my arsenals of fucked up language skills.

The worst and best thing ever both happened to Josee on the same day. She split with her partner after spending so much time/money/effort to bring him over from croatia.

Then a better dancer than the croatia guy came and asked her to be his partner.

I've never had anything going the way I wanted. After a huge sadness, I've always had to mentally calm myself and smooth out the pain. Maybe I should've just let myself drop into depression and show it, then something will make me happy.