I can feel the switch as soon as I walked in that door. Everything rushed back at once and I can’t help but having that stupid smirk on my face. It feels like a switch, as if the motion of the body awakens another part of me. The cockiness, the attitude, the confidence and the stupid smirk… But what tortures me most is knowing that this attitude is switched on by dancing. Is it fake? Or is it really me?
“A good man stays in the shadow and make his partner shine on the floor.” One of the quotes of my many teachers. It is, what we considers, the hardest achievement of a male dancer. In our normal daily life, traditional belief leads to the woman supporting the bread bringer of the house making him shine in public, however you get the complete reversal of roles once you entered the world of dancing. I cringe, everytime I have to refrain myself because if I dance my fullest, I will outshine the girl. Just as the girl need a good leader so they can feel properly *danced their brain out*, guys need a good follower so we can properly *dance our on brain out*
It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to understand people from the way they dance. To be so specialized that their dancing ability affect the way I think about them. I have to detach myself often to look at the normal behaviors… So what’s this guy doing, what’s that guy doing, see how he tries to socialize with the girls after they danced. Yes, the purpose of dancing is having fun and talk to people, not to see if I am better or she’s better or that guy beside us is better.
No, this is not competition anymore and I lack the experience of making girls happy in social dancing settings… but I do have some advantages.
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On the sideline, you’ll see the new guys who’ve never danced before being too chicken to ask girls to dance. In the corner you see the lovebirds that started learning together and eager to get better. Sitting on the sofa there’s a woman sulking with a face so sour I don’t want to look at her direction. Her man probably can’t lead her or is dancing with another girl. The girls who dress in red with black hair and big hoops as earrings are salsa dancers trying out swing for the first time. Yes there, they just confirmed my suspicion from the way they spin.
See that girl in red with a big smile on her all the time? She dances very well; I want to dance with her to see what she feels like… Ack, swing dancing’s lead and follow is certainly different and the timing as to which part of the beat to initiate the lead/follow is different as well. I think the salsa dancer’s rhythms are more compatible with mine.
See that couple over there? The one in the middle that freed up all the spaces around them. Don’t they look impressive to you? Do you see that they are wild and can’t control their movement and are bumping into everyone around them? They are at the stage where they think they are better than everyone at the dance, which is sometimes true, and is showing off their dance skills. Their moves are big and look flashy but their movement is confined to the moves they know. There is no quality. Bruce lee once said:â€? I know no move, I know moves, I know no move.” This couple is at the second stage.
Where’s that nice lady that I promised a dance to? Ah! There she is. I always feel comfortable with them because there’s no pressure to perform and no pressure to chat them up or be cocky. They are just grateful that you are dancing with them. Whenever I used to go to Josee’s Saturday night dance parties, I always dance with them. It helps the business by keeping the customers coming back and I don’t like seeing them sitting on the side being so lonely. What is their story? Why are they at a party alone? Some lost their husband; some were past champions and reminiscing their glorious time and some just don’t want to hang out at a bingo place in smoke on a Friday night.
At one point of a male dancer’s life, he has to go through a stage where he’s over leading. Where he drags around the girl with so much power that all you see when you look at them is the guy’s arms moving all around the place. You can pick them out easily at every dance. The guy’s arms will be all around the lady, more attractive than the lady herself. There, see that fellow who’s sweating profusely? He’s working up a sweat because he’s using his arm too much. It’s good for muscle building, but you won’t last long in dancing like that.
That tall girl in red who let her long hair flow freely down is probably an argentine tango dancer. She’s standing at the most visible spot while being confident and comfortable around. Not fidgeting, not moving at all. It indicates that she’s familiar with the scene. The elegance and the necklace she wears reeks of that style also. I wasn’t sure though because her friend beside her has an aura I haven’t sensed before. Some gymnastic background from the way her body is built yet the shoulder wasn’t over developed from all the tumbling training. I am intrigued now. It took me a while to grind the truth out from the tall elegant girl as to what she does. pffft, pretending like a noob like I love to do so much in the introduction lessons. No wonder I could spin her with no problem.
Speaking of introductory lessons, I believe the funniest thing is to be corrected by a beginner… which happens often for me. No exception today. A beginner properly corrected me and I just can’t stop smiling. She probably thinks I am just embarrassed from doing it wrong, I just think the situation is hilarious. Yes, in a way, I am a beginner in swing and I have much to learn.
Last but not least, the tango girl’s friend whom I can’t discern the background from. She’s a circus performer, tight rope walker. No wonder her body feels like that. I am properly intrigued.
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My roommates told me that there was a chick staring at me as relaxed on the sofa. Staring with the lust of sex as they described so vividly. I just looked at them wide eyed and told them to shut up. I did not come here to pick up girls. Dancing for me is holy and it has been that way for a long time. It’s a place where you can leave your wallet lying around and come back to find it in 3 hours. It’s a place where guys don’t grope girls and girls don’t give that “pfft I am above you” attitude when guys ask them for a dance. No, never a meat market. Or… maybe I am treating it wrong? I should be looking at it like a meat market. High class one?
All these emotions that flows out, triggered by hard wiring body motions to my brain without thinking. Automatic floor craft and the awareness of everyone on the floor. All this confuses me. I do not have to think about it, I do not have to practice it. It is just there.
On a side note. I learnt something about myself today; I have the hots for women with muscular backs. That is just way too sexy. That explains why sports bra always catches my eye.