UltraCrepidate

The cloud cleared, temperature rised and the woman stripped down to scantly clad clothing. Today marked the first warm weekend of summer where people can fully unleash their cooped up desire through the winter and show off their body.

About 3 years ago, I made a major decision to grow my roots in a city and enjoy the benefits of knowing people, nurturing friendships and making money from a stable job. As a consequence, I feel the urges of wanderlust whenever things run into a stalemate.

On days like these, when the two motives strongly collide, I would take off with my bike and explore the streets of Montreal. Today, I sat beside the calm waters of parc Lafontaine, watch a movie being shot in the city and joined a parade.

Often times we take pictures in hopes to capture the perfect moment, only to frown upon the flawed result that can never compete with our expectation. Then there are moment like these, where someone innoncently pushed the button without meaning to which captured something surreal. When the angle is just right and the light played just enough trick, you get a peek into the alternatve universe where everything is better than what you remembered. Just like this picture making us more than what we are in real life.

Doc savage's self improvement. Someone wrote the way and I will try it out.
http://members.aol.com/the86floor/novels/method.html

“Well,” he said, opening the door to his car, “all you can do is put on an appearance of confidence sometimes. And after a while, others will start to believe it.” He grabbed the door handle to pull it closed. “And then you die.” -Excerpts from “The Game”

What does it feel like when the girl sleeping in your bed with you is there because you used these canned line on her with these behavioral trainings that you knew wasn't you? But what part of it is you? What part of it is theirs? It has been intermingled so completely that everytime a girl shows you a sign of interest your analytical mind begins to work. Can you ever go back to where it was all a mystery and emotional? When the only thing you can rely on is your true self?

I have to thank Neil Strauss for writing this book.

Sitting in the encasement hard cold steel under a wintery moon light. We waited in awkward silence as I work up the courage to get out in the cold. I am internally a good person and want to save her the maze like trip that a car has to take to get to my place when I can just walk 5 minutes to get there.

She was the first to cave in to break the awkwardness: “So….”
I cut her off short:”Thanks for the ride, really appreciated you saving my arse from freezing over. Though given the same circumstance, I doubt Jay-Lo would appreciate the same gesture.”
Took a moment then she caught the joke.
I leaned over slowly, breathed in her scents fully. Feeling her hot breath on my lips… I turned and kissed her on the cheek.
“No. I can’t do this to an engaged 20 something mom.
Quickly said good bye and left her in her car. The mind foggy from what almost happened.

“I cursed all the way back to my apartment”

Girl: “My shoulders are SOOOO sore. Peter please give me a mssage.”
Me:” No, we don't wanna go there.”
Girl: “Why not?! PLEASE!?”
Me:” Because of what it always lead to… Besides I think I am good enough to charge $20 for it.”

I became more and more aware of the fact that people interpret this world based on what they are most familiar with. Especially when dealing with new unknown information. The first step everyone do is relate back to their experience with something similar. It's not the person is dumb or has a low IQ, but more the fact that the filter they use does not allow their brain to process the information.

Some of the filters cannot comprehend certain information. Just like some words in chinese cannot be translated without losing half its meaning.
�天地,情為何勿. 直到生死以身許. Roughly translates to: Ask the sky and the earth, what is love, till death do we part.
It is always amazing when I discover the filter a person operates on. My mind always goes “Merde, bougre que c'est mauvais”

I think I need a mentor to answer all these questions that came up while dealing with big companies and people with lots of money/power.

Things like: What type of info is the sales rep trying to fish out of you when he compliments you on some compliments he heard from someone else you've never met.

How many thank yous is too much.

What type of smile produce what type of reaction.

How to break down a person's defenses.

Running, so hard at the beginning,
My lazy body screams for rest
while the brain begs for sleep
But I ran on.

Like life, once you found a beat
a synchronized rhythm
Heavy breathing
echoes of your foot

The air became sweet
and the taste of your sweat a side dish to the main course
You feel like you can run forever

I ran 10 rounds on a track today. It feels easier as you don't see how far you still have to go. On the street, I'd just get discouraged as I gaze at the distance still ahead.

Alex:”Why are you giving me 5 dollar more? Are you trying to be nice to me and pick me up?”
Me: “WTF?”
Flashes of a TV show passed through my mind at that moment. The scene goes like this:

Two roomates, the girl ask the guy if he want to have lunch together, the guy accepts. The girl then proceed to make salad. While she's bending down to the counter to do it, the guy lowers his head a bit and squinted to focus. The girl noticed from the microwave's reflection.

When the girls get back up, he did so too and asked: “Hey do you want to go down the street and grab a burger instead?”

The girl said: “OMG, we gotta get something straight. I can't have my roomate checking my ass out whenever I bend down to do something and then proceed to ask me out for a dinner. We are going to live together and I don't think this can go on.”

The guy paused for a moment then replied:” Look BLONDIE, first of all, I am near sighted and I have to squint to see the time on the microwave. Secondly, I am a very active guy and I can't survive on rabbit food.”

Back to reality… nahh I chosed another way to reply. Maybe I'll do that if another incident like this happens.

There was a time when I didn't ask questions and did what I was told to do.
The house and a towel
There was a time when I wanted to do nothing but play all day in the wild.
A refreshing stream under tree's shades
There was a time when I wished I have friends
The plane that flies towards the sky
There was a time when I want to be accepted
Me in my yellow pants

There was a time when I enjoyed learning about the different point of views
school bags and dorms
There was a time when I debating on major issues
desks and classrooms in the summer
There was a time when I questioned my own spirituality
staring aimlessly into the void
There was a time when I dreamt of how I want my life to be
Books and my room

There was a time when I was alone chasing my dream
Coffee, dance shoes
There was a time when I was depressed
Dark room with a blue computer screen
There was a time when I all was acceptable and nothing is surprising
Raised eyebrow
There was a time when I can't go on
Sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag. Shivering

There was a time when I said good bye to loved ones
The kiss that felt blank
There was a time when I created something wonderful
A decapped ASIC chip costing $1000
There was a time when I wanted material things
PDA
There was a time when I asked what's next
Cubicle

A trip down the memory lane, each phrase a pure reflection of a part with its associated images.

ING has a 3% interest rate for anyone who deposit into their system.
A 3.7% yearly interest rate if you deposit for 270 days.
Quite confusing. The real number is you get a 3% increase if you deposit 1k for a year or if you chosed their 3.7% term deposit for 270 days, you get 2.737 increase over a 9 month period.

My coca cola has earned me a 2.737% increase just by the dividend alone. Of course, if you add in all the fees I have to pay and the fact that I bought at the worst time possible, I am actually losing money. But the 20 share that I bought a long time ago was actually my attempt at getting my money free from my dad's control. Bought at 47 dollars, current price at 43.

My recent more educated purchase at 41 dollars has netted me a 3% increase over 4 months. Take away the comission I earned nothing but the 10$ dividend. That is still a 1% increase over 4 months. If I do this over a year with a greater number of cash to lower the importance of the comission, I'd still earn more than 3%.

Proves that putting your money in any institution is the shittiest way to earn money. Now the question comes, should I buy a house or rent an apartment?

Rent comes to about $3600 per year. Say if I want to buy a house at average of $214,856 with the current morgage rate of 11.1%. I have to pay $1,297 per month for 5 years which amounts to $15564 per year
15564-3600 = $11964 is the difference between buying and renting.

Say if I can net about 3% gain per year by playing stocks. That is a $358.92 loss.
In 5 years it is a $1794.6 loss

The approximate amount of years I need to stay in this apartment before I can reap the benefit is 214,856/3600 = 60… huh?

Well wrong calculation. Rental is $900 for the 3 of us combined so 214,856/(900*12) = 20.

Still, it's only a $400 difference per month.

Conclusion is that the saving isn't significant enough to earn anything with it. So I will continue on to look for a home to buy.

Now the question I have is, can I still be paying for the morgage while renting it out? The answer is most definitely yes.
Next question is, can I rent it out at a rate higher than the mortgage rate? To answer this, I have to look at the lowest mortgage rate and the rent of a particular area. I can just sell the house again and use the money to pay off the rest of the morgage. But that'll depend on the current price of real estate. Montreal is at an all time high right now so, it's not a good idea.

It comes down to… not enough capital.

What I have is most likely a genetically induced hyper active gland that converts sugar to energy in a faster than normal process. This lead me to the feeling of hunger every 3 hours and induces the symptoms of hypoglycemia if I don't take care of it. Normal cases of these disease exist in most people who have diabetes and are getting treatment. Or those who have an overactive insulin generating mechanism that lowers their blood sugar.

What I have is most probablly “Fasting Hypoglycemia”. The upside of this is I can take a lot of sugar and fat while in the mean time, I have to watch out that I don't have blood sugar level lower than 50mg. It's good to know that I can get rid of the symptom by swallowing 4 tablespoon of cornstarch “yuck” for a quick boost of sugar. A lot of my life make sense now. My inability to get fat with 5 meals a day. The shake and cold sweat that comes if I am too hungry. The craving for a sugary tim hortons coffee after I exercise.

While reading this, I found out that our brain functions purely on sugar. Or if in emergency, another substance called keytones, but our iq would lowever during that emergency period. i.e. apeman. Is this how the witches of the old time used to make zombies? By depriving someone of sugar to induce neuroglycopenia and supplementing ketones ?

1 week of sickness, a camping trip and an afternoon of running later. The ring of fat around my stomac dissappeared.

Part of what was expected of my job is to attend all these gatherings with all these gourmet food that you are expected to eat. That is bad in 2 ways. First it interferes with my training schedule, second, it's an event where the onlything I can do is talk and eat.

This is the first time I actually appreciate my genetics, but for how long can they keep up?

Drinking the fresh chill morning air of the country side along with the dark liquids of morning's instant coffee. I took in the beautiful sunrise while enjoying my time alone before the morning's hustle and bustle. Somehow a day of roughing it and the campfire besides me makes anything pleasurable. Being with these people made me realize just how much people depend on civilization. It's almost as if they don't know how to function anymore once they are out in the wild. Questions like: ” Where is the shower”, ” How clean are the toilets?”. “Are there hot water in the shower?”. I think the fastest way to know a person is to go out camping with them.

For me, I loned for more. I want it to be rougher, more remote and completely away from civilization.

好多事　怎麼�也��完.
人生就這樣,　茫茫然的�去.　
也�知甚麼是好甚麼是壞.　
解決�完的�題一直來.　
�爾有空也�會花.　�ㄨ~~~
好累

More pictures. The editing was amazing. I remember the background was white and there was no flood light as you see in this picture.
The amazing part for me is the lighting actually makes my hands appear to be right underneath the cone of light while making the rest of my person fade in the shadow. Giving the lighting a 3 dimensional feel. You can't do that with the predefined filters in photoshop.

Reminder to self. DO NOT think you are recovered when you feel a little bit better.

So I thought I recovered after 2 days of sleeping and pumping water last weekend. So I worked out a bit and ran a bit on Sunday night. Then Monday hit and oh the whole shifield came down.

I've been suffering from coughing for 4 days straight now, can't even get a good night's sleep. At least I feel way better now for tomorrow's camping trip YAY!

I accidently learnt that my boss plan on having me take over a veteran's job as he moves on to another. I feel honored that they have enough confidence in me, but it's very scary when you are taking over the 7 year senior of the team who's been with the department since its conception.

It's going to take me a month just to read his phone book!

I locked the door and jammed it with a chair today so I can sneak into my roomate's room to continue the “war of roomies”. It's so rare I get time alone at home without either of them present to setup my evil scheme…
However, my perfectly calculated plan was spoilt by one unpredictable outcome.

Her room was a mess. I mean a f&*()&%$ mess that even I dare not venture. Oh well. I will keep on waiting for my chances. I will not let my bread catapult schematic go to waste.

I've been listening to the traffic report radio every morning and afternoon while being stuck in the great bumper car line. I am noticing a radio reporter called Kimberly Sullivan that really hit some romance button inside me. Her voice isn't what I'd say great, but the way she says “Plamondon” just always hit me the right way. I don't understand why I am so obsessed with a word. Especially this one word said by this one person. I don't know where Plamondon is nor do I know any girl with her type of voice before.

God “Plamondon” sounds so sexy when said by her.