10.21.06

Personal Dream

Posted in Writing at 8:00 pm by Causalien

One day in my childhood, I decided to go “walk” my bicycle. I thought it was fun and got all my friends in the neighboorhood to join me. Others saw it and asked us what we were doing, I told them exactly what they see. This is a gang of walking bikers. They saw it as fun and joined us in the crusade and soon, there’s a mob of us walking around aimlessly. Magically, no one said a word or left out of boredom. We just walked until sunset when our stomacs protested.

Tears slid down my cheek as I bring myself back from the trip down memory lane. I’ve found the answer to a question: The group. I asked my heart if it is true and it responded by filling my eyes with more salty water. I give water for a dream long lost.

For several days, I rushed home to lounge on my bed as if nothing else mattered. My room is a mess and the apartment has generally deteriorated to a dump from the lack of my care. It only lasted a week against my two roomates, but that’s only a minor inconvenience compared to the dream I’ve forgotten.

One day while pondering why I didn’t feel as lost when I was a child, I realized that it was because I knew where I was going and what was important. That’s all good and dandy, except I can’t remember what that goal was that made me so confident and carefree. It was hard to extract, because I never formed the idea into a word, rather, it was in the way I am and the things I want.

Finding this answer suddenly put meanings to everything I’ve lived through. Life is so interesting and I want to improve myself in everything I do. Even my dream of making one million dollar is dwarfed and flourished under its shadow. At least it makes sense now.

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